Do Unto Others!

The cynical version of this saying goes:

                   ‘Do unto others,

                    Before they do unto you.’

We should, however, make it perfectly clear that we prefer the original version, sometimes known as the Golden Rule (Pace Gordon Brown, in another context!):

                   ‘Do unto others,

                    As you would that they

                    would do unto you.’

This isn’t quite ‘turn the other cheek’ but it is a sensible and civilised philosophy for this day and age.  On the other hand, it does not, we would suggest, represent a business model that many captains of industry would recognise.

Their reading matter might lean more towards Machiavelli’s ‘The Prince’ or Sun Tzu’s ‘Art of War’ both of which we would recommend to you for intellectual stimulation if not for guidance on the conduct of your everyday life.

You can find these and many other classics in the WebWatch2000

online books section (http://www.webwatch2000.com/portal/books/)

There you will also find the somewhat formulaic and now rather neglected Dale Carnegie classic ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’.  This was the definitive self-help book of its age, and is still notable for its wisdom and understanding of human nature.  We commend it to you.

We reflected on the current relevance of this book during some recent dealings with British Telecom - from whom we have now parted company.  We were reminded of a maxim that may not have come from Dale Carnegie himself, but of which he could have felt proud. 

‘No-one ever won an argument with a customer’.  (Think about it!)

Et tu, Brute!

(More of that Welsh language stuff - apologies!)

The reason for this post is that, despite the obvious advantages of Facebook, some analysts are currently suggesting that your favourite social networking site could be a threat to your online security.

The WebProNews online newsletter argues that the way Facebook uses cookies is not as transparent as you might think, and your Web activity might continue to be tracked even when you are logged out of Facebook.

Take a look at this article and ask yourself if you are not being just a little naive!  (The intentions of Facebook itself are, we are sure, entirely honourable but, as you know very well, the criminal world is not populated entirely by idiots, and creative thinking is not the exclusive preserve of the law-abiding!)

http://www.webpronews.com/is-facebook-tracking-everywhere-you-go-online-2011-09

Cast no Nasturtiums!

Just a thought on that last subject:  Whatever it says in the Press, I suggest to you that you never, ever, say anything bad about nurses.  You don’t know when you might need them - or what they might be doing to you when you do need them!  Believe me, I know this!  Twitter ye not!  

Back in the Saddle

So, here we are again, after an absence of a couple of weeks -  quite an eventful couple of weeks, as it happens - comprising a few broadband problems, a major hardware failure and a short spell in hospital for what is jokingly called a ‘rebore’.  Still, we are glad to be back in the saddle now.  (Ouch!)

Trouble & Strife

So what do you know about London Cockneys - apart from what you’ve seen on BBC1’s  Eastenders?   Not a lot?

Well, for the absolutely, totally, abysmally uninitiated, a Cockney is a person from the East End of London  -  traditionally someone born ‘within the sound of Bow Bells’  (Bow Bells being the bells of  the church of St Mary le Bow in London’s Cheapside.)   So there are lots of people who might call themselves Eastenders but not so many who could genuinely claim to be Cockneys.  (‘Quelle domage’, as absolutely nobody would say, down at the Dog & Duck!)

One of the main things that Cockneys are noted for (jellied eels and Pearly Kings apart!) is their particular brand of rhyming slang.   Originally designed as a kind of private language to exclude the uninitiated, rhyming slang at its very simplest level can be pretty obvious in meaning – once you have grasped the basic idea.  But its supporters often go to extreme lengths to make it totally baffling to strangers.

For example,‘porkies’ is short for ‘pork pies’ which rhymes with ‘lies’ so a porky is a lie.   Not so difficult.    Similarly, a ‘butcher’s’ is short for a ‘butcher’s hook’ which rhymes with ‘look’ so a butcher’s is a look.   Less salubriously a ‘tom’ is a lady of the night, ‘tom’ being short for ‘tom cat’, with the rhyme here being best left to your imagination.

On the other hand if you are down at the pub, knocking out a few tunes on the piano, and someone describes you as ‘a bit Brahms’ you may feel that this is a tribute to your musical skills.  It isn’t.   Brahms is short for ‘Brahms and Listz’ which sort of rhymes with pissed! 

So, what does all this have to do with WebWatch2000?   Well, you probably won’t find much of the above in the Oxford English Dictionary – which  you can find online in our reference category.  But in the same category, amongst a very useful range of other reference works, you will find a Dictionary of Cockney Rhyming Slang.   (To check it out, visit our reference category at http://www.webwatch2000.com/portal/reference/)

And, in case you haven’t worked it out yet, ‘trouble and strife’ means ‘wife’ (but we can’t think why!)

Now that that’s all clear, watch out for next week’s gripping instalment, entitled  ‘Useful Phrases in Medieval Croatian’!  (Don’t hold your breath!)

Clock This!

According to the popular George Formby song of the 1930s: “If you want to know the time, ask a Policeman”. Today, of course, in our vastly more cosmopolitan age, you might well be addressing a ‘gendarme’, a ‘guardia’, a ‘politziotto’ or even a ‘ New York cop’. And, language difficulties apart, you might well get a different answer from each.

The time of course depends on where you are in the world and, while your American grandma might normally be delighted for you to telephone her at 4.30 in the afternoon, she might find it less of a pleasure at 4.30 in the morning! So, to avoid an ear-bashing (and perhaps also to safeguard your future inheritance), why not check out precisely what time it is in her neck of the woods.

A quick and accurate way of doing this is to visit our handy Reference section (http://www.webwatch2000.com/portal/reference/) where the wealth of useful information includes timeanddate.com’s ‘world clock’ site which gives accurate information for different time zones and major cities across the world.

Celebrity Watch

No, we aren’t talking about the Rolex Oyster, the Patek Philippe, or the Tag Heuer. We are referring rather to the peculiar hobby of tracking the lives and fortunes of well-known strangers - people who, for no very good reason, we love to love (or sometimes love to hate).

A celebrity, it is sometimes said, is like an elephant - hard to define but recognisable on sight. At WebWatch2000, on the other hand, we prefer to think of a celebrity as more of an anchovy - to some people a delicious treat but to others a serious abomination!

At the last count we didn’t have any listings for anchovies - or elephants even - but celebrities are a different kettle of fish! So, if celebrity watching is your thing, take a look at the Celebrities section of the directory (http://www.webwatch2000.com/portal/celebrities/)

Happy surfing